Post by Lazer Blazer on Jan 2, 2020 12:31:46 GMT -5
( So its Dani Applegate standing next to Lazer Blazer in front of a APW banner. Lazer is dressed in his ring gear, looking ready to compete. )
Dani Applegate: We’re here at The Pit in New Mexico, at a APW New Years bash, fan access before we go LIVE for our Alpha Rumble in just a few days. I have with me here the returning Lazer Blazer who hasnt been seen in APW since the summer. Lazer, hows it feel to be back?
Lazer Blazer: I’ll tell you somethin, darling, Lazer Blazer is feeling great and its great to be BACK In Alpha Pro Wrestling.
( Lazer is is pumped, feeling the electricity in the air as his knees, hips and elbows start doing the whiteboy shake. You know the one. Not the drunk guy at the wedding but like, sippin on a kettle and cranberry over in the corner while Billy Idol slams home another throat burner and your aunt is droppin her panties on the floor like it was 1983 again. )
Dani Applegate: Lazer, you can actually win the rumble and become a number one contender for the vacant World title after Dean Wolf left the company.
( Lazer bows and shakes his head before looking back up with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes. )
Lazer Blazer: Dani, man, I’d tell you. Wow. To be number one contender for the world championship and represent all these amazing people out here and across the country and world - crazy. Itd be an honor. As for Dean Wolf, I never really got a chance to meet him but you know what, if he cant hang and bang on the grandest stage then maybe its best he step aside but we all know that's where Lazers truly shine. As for Dean Wolf, well, brother, that's just too bad but Rock N roll aint for everybody. You’re either with it or you aint and I guess we know that Dean Wolf just aint with it. The Lazer though, The Lazer can dance and party all night long.
( GET. THESE. HIPS)
Lazer Blazer (cont): I know, Dani that with the Lazer Blazer Brigade with me, I can accomplish anything, especially winning the Royal Rumble I just cant wait, I’m so excited.
Dani Applegate: Well to do so, you’ll have to fight nearly thirty other people.
( Lazers eyes go wide. The sweat forms. His lips get dry. His brain fizzles. )
Lazer Blazer: did- did you say - what did you say - thirty?
Dani Applegate: thirty. As in ten more than twenty.
( Lazer holds his hands out in front of him and looks blankly at them.)
Lazer Blazer: That's a lot more than I have fingers. I guess I need more fingers.
( Dani doesnt know how to combat this and she just kinda agrees. )
Dani Applegate: I mean, yah but like.. Do you have anything to say about that?
( Lazer swallows hard as a swelling of ‘lazer’ chants can be heard.)
Lazer Blazer: I guess I’ll have to swallow my pride, Dani and go out there and do it for all the little Lazer Blazers out there. I know the odds are stacked against me but you know what, the odds are gonna be stacked against you your whole life and what kind of hero would I be to all those kids out there in the world that look up to me if I didnt go out there and give it my Lazer Blazer best. But the more I think about it, Jenna -
Danni : Its Danni.
Lazer Blazer: - The more I realize that thirty is a lot less than one.
(wut?)
Dani Applegate: Uh, Lazer, that's not how math - ah - that's not how that works.
Lazer Blazer: Dani, when you have heart, you don’t need math and Lazers got plenty of hearts because with the love and the support of my Lazer Blazer Brigade, I - we - yes, WE can accomplish anything. It only takes one act of kindness, one act of friendship and compassion can change the world forever and baby, we’re going Double Barrel as we kick it into LIGHT SPEED for the Royal Rumble, YAH!
Dani Applegate: Well do you have anything to say to anyone in particular in the match? Like Ashley Derringer or the Dot Com Mogul or Noble Savage or even Arther Pleasant?
( Lazer starts to laugh to himself and smiles a big smile. )
Dani Applegate: Whats so funny?
Lazer Blazer: Don’t worry, you wouldnt get it. But that's ok, that's just a joke between me and all the Lazer Blazers out there. They get it. They understand. They understand that the only way to the top is at the speed.. OF LIGHT. PEW PEW POW POW….
* Epic baby face pose *
Dani Applegate: We’re here at The Pit in New Mexico, at a APW New Years bash, fan access before we go LIVE for our Alpha Rumble in just a few days. I have with me here the returning Lazer Blazer who hasnt been seen in APW since the summer. Lazer, hows it feel to be back?
Lazer Blazer: I’ll tell you somethin, darling, Lazer Blazer is feeling great and its great to be BACK In Alpha Pro Wrestling.
( Lazer is is pumped, feeling the electricity in the air as his knees, hips and elbows start doing the whiteboy shake. You know the one. Not the drunk guy at the wedding but like, sippin on a kettle and cranberry over in the corner while Billy Idol slams home another throat burner and your aunt is droppin her panties on the floor like it was 1983 again. )
Dani Applegate: Lazer, you can actually win the rumble and become a number one contender for the vacant World title after Dean Wolf left the company.
( Lazer bows and shakes his head before looking back up with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes. )
Lazer Blazer: Dani, man, I’d tell you. Wow. To be number one contender for the world championship and represent all these amazing people out here and across the country and world - crazy. Itd be an honor. As for Dean Wolf, I never really got a chance to meet him but you know what, if he cant hang and bang on the grandest stage then maybe its best he step aside but we all know that's where Lazers truly shine. As for Dean Wolf, well, brother, that's just too bad but Rock N roll aint for everybody. You’re either with it or you aint and I guess we know that Dean Wolf just aint with it. The Lazer though, The Lazer can dance and party all night long.
( GET. THESE. HIPS)
Lazer Blazer (cont): I know, Dani that with the Lazer Blazer Brigade with me, I can accomplish anything, especially winning the Royal Rumble I just cant wait, I’m so excited.
Dani Applegate: Well to do so, you’ll have to fight nearly thirty other people.
( Lazers eyes go wide. The sweat forms. His lips get dry. His brain fizzles. )
Lazer Blazer: did- did you say - what did you say - thirty?
Dani Applegate: thirty. As in ten more than twenty.
( Lazer holds his hands out in front of him and looks blankly at them.)
Lazer Blazer: That's a lot more than I have fingers. I guess I need more fingers.
( Dani doesnt know how to combat this and she just kinda agrees. )
Dani Applegate: I mean, yah but like.. Do you have anything to say about that?
( Lazer swallows hard as a swelling of ‘lazer’ chants can be heard.)
Lazer Blazer: I guess I’ll have to swallow my pride, Dani and go out there and do it for all the little Lazer Blazers out there. I know the odds are stacked against me but you know what, the odds are gonna be stacked against you your whole life and what kind of hero would I be to all those kids out there in the world that look up to me if I didnt go out there and give it my Lazer Blazer best. But the more I think about it, Jenna -
Danni : Its Danni.
Lazer Blazer: - The more I realize that thirty is a lot less than one.
(wut?)
Dani Applegate: Uh, Lazer, that's not how math - ah - that's not how that works.
Lazer Blazer: Dani, when you have heart, you don’t need math and Lazers got plenty of hearts because with the love and the support of my Lazer Blazer Brigade, I - we - yes, WE can accomplish anything. It only takes one act of kindness, one act of friendship and compassion can change the world forever and baby, we’re going Double Barrel as we kick it into LIGHT SPEED for the Royal Rumble, YAH!
Dani Applegate: Well do you have anything to say to anyone in particular in the match? Like Ashley Derringer or the Dot Com Mogul or Noble Savage or even Arther Pleasant?
( Lazer starts to laugh to himself and smiles a big smile. )
Dani Applegate: Whats so funny?
Lazer Blazer: Don’t worry, you wouldnt get it. But that's ok, that's just a joke between me and all the Lazer Blazers out there. They get it. They understand. They understand that the only way to the top is at the speed.. OF LIGHT. PEW PEW POW POW….
* Epic baby face pose *
