Post by Addy A on Nov 24, 2019 16:12:25 GMT -5
Troy Butler is sitting in on a chair, next to him is an empty chair. On the outside of two chairs is a plastic fern each side of each chair. This is a studio interview.
Troy Butler: Hi, this is Troy Butler. I am here to interview Spartan about his upcoming match with Jazzy John McCarty. Please forgive me if I am a little shaky - someone attacked me earlier. But I am a good company man who turns up to his job every time on time unlike my interviewee, Spartan.
Spartan staggers into the studio, obviously drunk. He trips over a fern and falls face first into the lab of Troy Butler, he gets up and sit in the empty chair.
Spartan: How ya doin. My Man! High Five!
Spartan puts his hand up to for a high five but Troy tries to be professional.
Spartan: Don't leave me hangin bro.
Butler reluctantly high fives Spartan.
Spartan: So what's up?
Troy Butler: You have a match against John McCarty this week?
Spartan: SHIT! I do? Damn, I thought I was facing Allen Anderson. My whole preparation has been about avoiding the roll up.
Butler: Surely, you knew who were facing.
Spartan: I was just fuckin with ya Troy. Relax bro, ya seem so uptight.
Butler: Well if you experienced what I experienced recently you'd be uptight too.
Spartan: Oh Kay! But I thought we were talking about me and my glorious ginger beard.
Butler: Actually, I was asking you about you match with Jazzy John McCarty
Spartan: Isn't he from New Orleans? That city is so bad it made Pistol Pete Maravich move to UTAH! UTAH! UTAH!
Butler: I'm sure that was the team owner moved the team and Pistol Pete moved with the team
Spartan: What do you know about basketball Troy? Did you miss an open transaction dunk that would've won your high school a state championship. So shut the fuck up about basketball Troy! Get a manicure Troy! Get a pedicure Troy! Fact is New Orleans is a shitty city that made Pete Maravich move to utah to be more entertaining. So if Utah is more exciting that New Orleans. Than that must mean that Jazzy John is very fucking boring and lasts entertainment value.
Butler: Ok, that's Spartan.
Spartan: I haven't finished, Troy. I haven't told you how glorious my ginger beard is yet. It's glorious and soft. Stroke it Troy.
Spartans grabs Butler's hand and makes him stroke his beard.
Spartan: so Troy whats your next question?
Butler: How do you plan to beat Jazzy John McCarty?
Spartan: By pinning him. Isn't that how I normally do it.
Butler: You could submit him.
Spartan: Have you ever seen me use a submission move, Troy?
Butler: No. But I haven't seen you pin anyone lately either..
Spartan: That's fucking low, Troy. Real low.
Butler: Well, answer the question.
Spartan: What question?
Butler: How do you plan to beat Jazzy John McCarty?
Spartan: SPEAR! REVOLUTIONIZER! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Butler freezes as a giant rabbit appears behind Spartan. The rabbit pushes Spartan to the ground and grabs Butler putting him over his shoulder like a flour bag.
Butler: Help me Spartan.
Spartan: Hello cute bunny!
Butler: Spartan, please!
Spartan: Cute bunny...
The giant rabbit carries Troy Butler away.
Spartan: Bye Bye Bunny.
Troy Butler: Hi, this is Troy Butler. I am here to interview Spartan about his upcoming match with Jazzy John McCarty. Please forgive me if I am a little shaky - someone attacked me earlier. But I am a good company man who turns up to his job every time on time unlike my interviewee, Spartan.
Spartan staggers into the studio, obviously drunk. He trips over a fern and falls face first into the lab of Troy Butler, he gets up and sit in the empty chair.
Spartan: How ya doin. My Man! High Five!
Spartan puts his hand up to for a high five but Troy tries to be professional.
Spartan: Don't leave me hangin bro.
Butler reluctantly high fives Spartan.
Spartan: So what's up?
Troy Butler: You have a match against John McCarty this week?
Spartan: SHIT! I do? Damn, I thought I was facing Allen Anderson. My whole preparation has been about avoiding the roll up.
Butler: Surely, you knew who were facing.
Spartan: I was just fuckin with ya Troy. Relax bro, ya seem so uptight.
Butler: Well if you experienced what I experienced recently you'd be uptight too.
Spartan: Oh Kay! But I thought we were talking about me and my glorious ginger beard.
Butler: Actually, I was asking you about you match with Jazzy John McCarty
Spartan: Isn't he from New Orleans? That city is so bad it made Pistol Pete Maravich move to UTAH! UTAH! UTAH!
Butler: I'm sure that was the team owner moved the team and Pistol Pete moved with the team
Spartan: What do you know about basketball Troy? Did you miss an open transaction dunk that would've won your high school a state championship. So shut the fuck up about basketball Troy! Get a manicure Troy! Get a pedicure Troy! Fact is New Orleans is a shitty city that made Pete Maravich move to utah to be more entertaining. So if Utah is more exciting that New Orleans. Than that must mean that Jazzy John is very fucking boring and lasts entertainment value.
Butler: Ok, that's Spartan.
Spartan: I haven't finished, Troy. I haven't told you how glorious my ginger beard is yet. It's glorious and soft. Stroke it Troy.
Spartans grabs Butler's hand and makes him stroke his beard.
Spartan: so Troy whats your next question?
Butler: How do you plan to beat Jazzy John McCarty?
Spartan: By pinning him. Isn't that how I normally do it.
Butler: You could submit him.
Spartan: Have you ever seen me use a submission move, Troy?
Butler: No. But I haven't seen you pin anyone lately either..
Spartan: That's fucking low, Troy. Real low.
Butler: Well, answer the question.
Spartan: What question?
Butler: How do you plan to beat Jazzy John McCarty?
Spartan: SPEAR! REVOLUTIONIZER! ONE! TWO! THREE!
Butler freezes as a giant rabbit appears behind Spartan. The rabbit pushes Spartan to the ground and grabs Butler putting him over his shoulder like a flour bag.
Butler: Help me Spartan.
Spartan: Hello cute bunny!
Butler: Spartan, please!
Spartan: Cute bunny...
The giant rabbit carries Troy Butler away.
Spartan: Bye Bye Bunny.
