Post by ZMAC on Nov 10, 2019 11:22:22 GMT -5
Zombie McMorris vs Spartan
__________________________
Spartan, I bet chu wonderin like a school girl how ya boi is suddenly an American hero? Like shit, where the fugg did all this come from? Ol’ boi is gross, dirty and homeless. Well, shit, that's half of the C.A. LA would be a mile n a half undah watah if’n it wernt all the raw sewage and human waste and trust ya boi when he tells you that you’s a human waste. But don’t worry, Ol’ Z gone give you the real low down and dirty on how he became an American Icon, this -> American Immortal ( still ironing that one that)
It all started in WCF -> where all shit started N’ don’t say ya’ll havent heard of the shit because that's where all the shit started. As you can imagine my bread and butter was -> well -> everything.
Iternet Pioneer, Hardcore madman ( hell, he even started the HORROR KORE trend ). I was a wicked pissah of a tag team champion and even well noted for my US title reigns. Why?
Because I represent freedom.
Now all everyone tends to see is cocaine and dredlocks and the memes. God, those fuggin memes. Or they just idiots and see my names Zombie and actually think I’m a fuckin zombie because aint nobody smhart no more and nobody can get the fuckin joke. Dats all alright doe because ya boi represents freedom. Straight up -> let your clit, balls, and rumple-tang-tangers fly free in the wind.
Its about personal choice.
You got personal choice there, Spartan or are you just a slave to them checks? Slave to the “ VOID WHERE PROHIBITED” watermark gimmicks. Gotta sign your name on the back. Gotta hand that shit to a person whose then gotta stamp it and give you change and you gotta put that shit in ya pocket all in a hurry cuz its 4:52pm and that shit closes at 5 and everybody lookin tah get paid.
Of course now you prolly just yell at google like a kid shouting at a dog to get them a glass of water.
“ Hey Google! I said, Hey google. Check my bank account”
Google chirps back with “ I found your bagel clout, you whack ass hassidic mother fucker.”
That's when your eyes just stare blankly at the screen and blink all out of sync. Its cuz you’s a slave to the man and the corporate greed of the white devils that tell you when to eat and when to shit and what movies to see and what to fuggin wear.
But you free. You carry the North American Championship with you on your shoulder like a real avatar of the woke.
Note, I said woke and not free. Those woke people are the worst of all cuz they shrink and they shrink and they put themselves in box after box so they can say: “ look how oppressed I am”
Look, Spartan, at how oppressed I’m gone make you this week and this week aint even for the belt. Right now I’m like that one uncle no one likes at parties just circling the block like:
I don’t even need to caption that.
That ass and that title like:
LMAO! See, that's how good I am with the dank memes. I don’t even need to caption them anymore.
You can just see ol’ Z pullin up to your house on a beat up ol huffy with a red white and blue trash can lid and a Marvel mask from Savers bein like:
Shee-it, Spartan, how you gone let yourself get clapped by 3. Count em’ 1. 2. 3 uncaptioned memes in a row? And you think you got a clap back for that? You think you gone defend against that? That's it, Ol’ Z done done you dirty and now you gotta unleash the North American Sprit from within? Fuckin’ hell, from what I heard where you really from ya toilets dont even flush the right way. Flushin all baquids n shit.
How can a man be champion of North America when hes secretly from a land down undah?
Maybe in Australia, that's justice but Australia is entirely populated by criminals and you cant have justice-US without the U.S.
Fine. American women. Eatin cornbread and collard greens and hickory smoked horse butt holes ->
( Hickory what? Smoked what?)
From a cup
( Oh shit, Its Dr. Tran and he’s about to make a house call on yo hickory smoked ass )
Ol’ Z hasnt event gotton to the promo yet -> this is just a preamble to freedom N’ shit. I’m so comfortable with 3 un-captioned memes and a Dr. Tran reference that I might not even get to the promo. I might just let you stew in this soup pot of crazy. Really marinate in whats to come.
In fact, Shirley Ceasar why don’t you tell him whats about to come
YOU NAME IT
YOU NAME IT
This promo is like if Jefferson started the preamble with that “ All men are created equal -” Then just stopped, drank some Henny, smoked a fat blunt then went out to the field and just butt fucked his slaves for the night and when he went back to the Convention the next day and John Adams was like: ‘Jefferson what do you got? Hows that preamble coming along?’
And he just kinda looks down and away and William Ellery is just like: “ It was the slaves again, wasnt it?” Jefferson just noddin N’ shit and Franklins in the back like:
That's what this promo is. This promo is the incoherent ramblings of a coked up madman shouting at his phone:
“Hey Google, do the thing”
And Googles like:
“OK! Writing a bomb ass promo from you, Zombie DankMorris”
And that's how I write promos, break the 4th wall and win championships.
Tell me again what it is you do here, exactly?
Besides gettin dove kilt by ol’ Z
See, that's the thing about Z-Merica. We drag you down beneath them waves.
And we beat you with experience.
And they all float down here.
LMAO
