Hardcore Title: Sarah Lacklan vs. William the Behemoth

William lay completely bewildered. Half a mind wanting to punch ref for being too slow half wanting to walks backstage and yell at Giggkes exclamation mark for scaring the life out of him. 

He knew better at this point than to let this momentary advantage slip, so he continued the various slaps and elbows to his opponent, always aimed at the face . His research had shown that using the face was how midgets communicated to one another. 

Eventually this stops working. Between his arms getting tired and Lacklan getting her hands to guard her face, William takes a different approach. 

Clearwater: William's limping backwards here!! Going for another Senton! 

Remi: Oh!!! And Lacklan moves out of the way!! 

Lacklan rolls at the quite-a-while-before-the-last second and William plummets to the ground, writhing in pain and inconvenience. 

His brain begins Williaming once again, and he remembers some of the methods that had worked earlier and instantly assumes they will jot only work again hut much better this time (because William was doing it. Narcissism was useful) and he turns to his partner, who's rising to his feet. 

William: The Megaphone, Travis!!! 

Travis gets up and starts walking like an NPC from a poorly made Bethesda game, the same weirdly boring way he always does. While William is struggling, slobbering on the canvas as he tries in vain to regimain his footing Travis returns with the device in question. 

William: Listen!! Why did the midget cross the road?! Why did- Lacklan! LISTEN!!!! Why did it cross the road?

Clearwater: William's trying his hand at jokes now? Oh geez. 

William waits for a while as Laxjlan raises her bloody head just to stare at William, very unimpressed. 

Travis stands over William's body, awkwardly fiddling his hand as William continues to scream. 

William: TO FALL OVER!!!! 

The arena is silent. 

William: LAUGH!!!! LAAAAAAAUGH!!! LAUGH AT THE JOKE!!! IT WAS CLEVER!! 

The crowd begin booing slightly and Lacklan joins in, adding a little choice insults at the big man.

William: LAUGH!!! THE HUMOUR'S TOO SMART FOR YOU CHUMPS! DON'T THROW THE ALDDER AT ME, VONN!!! IT WAS A GOOD JOKE, VONN!! LAUGH AT THE- DON'T-!! 

Travis stands completely still as the massive ladder is tipped over and lands firmly on William's head. Travis give William's screaming head a pat, before strolling over to Vonn to exchange in another viscous exchanging of blows. 

As the two big men continue to brawl, colliding into the former and connecting with harsh forearms, William starts to think from beneath the ladder. 

He could see the midget champion rising up. He needed to think of something and fast. 

Unfortunately, the part of William's brain that was only a midget hating, complete  horrible person had been thoroughly brutalised by the falling ladder. Now William's more "William" like section of his brain took the wheel. Which was still midget hating and horrible peep but was a lot dumber about it. 

William knew what to do. 

It was time for the Insane Punch.

Clearwater: Oh my goodness!!! William's down!! He's not moving!!! 

Remi: Like a bloated bag of wet trash, William's as still as a statue right now!! This has gotta be over!! The Ref's making their way over!!

William's body lays completely still in the middle of the ring, the crowd erupt into cheers which only provoke Lacklan to tighten her horrendous lock on the windpipe of the Horrorhemoth. 

Referee Silk quickly moves to chat to William, shouting, asking him if he can still fight, asking him if he wants to tap. The man's face doesn't move in the slightest. Even if it did, he's being choked out far too much to actually speak. The referee moves further down, lifting William's hand up once and letting it fall to the ground as the fans continue to cheer.

Clearwater: There's one!!! 

The crowd cheer louder, the hand is lifted again. Falls all the same. 

Clearwater: Two!!! The champs gonna retain this one!!! 

The hand is lifted for a third and final time, the roof nearly caving in as it falls lifeless once again. The referee quickly turns to the timekeeper's and- 


Clearwater: Oh sweet Zeus, Travis just booted the living crap out of the referee!! The match continues!!!!

Travis stand there, staring motionless at the referee, exactly the same as his tag partner except he's not flat against the mat and being asphyxiated by a very mobile, very sadistic 5 foot 2 lady. 

Travis walks back, probably trying to pick up another weapon but Lacklan is quick to launch herself after the man, pissed about the match being elongated even more. She chop blocks his hamstring and Travis trips into the middle turnbuckle, where Lacklan immediately begins with brutal, constant knees.

Travis eventually forces his body backwards, managing to regain his (way, way too calm) fighting stance (honestly it's like he's waiting in a queue for Starbucks or something) and Lacklan immediately tries to go for one of Travis' bandaged, lanky legs. She succeeds in grabbing one but Travis is able to get one of his equally bandaged and lanky arms to the ropes to regain his balance. He whacks Lacklan on the back, causing her to fall slightly. 

Remi: This is dishonorable!! The match should be over!! William's still fricking passed out!!!!

Clearwater: In any case, Travis is hammering in with axe handles! Lacklan's sustained a lot of damage to the back in this match. She falls to her knees. 

Lacklan's still determined, trying to grab Travis' bandaged, not really lanky shoes to stop him from moving, but fails.

You can practically feel the audiences rage and disappointment as Travis drags William's sleeping body out of the ring. The crowd begin a "You can't wrestle" chant, which William is too unconscious to hear. Travis shrugs.

Clearwater: The referee's down! Pins and submission can only count if they're inside the ring! Travis must be hoping William wakes up before another Ref can come down!! They're on the defensive again!! 

Clearwater: I don't mean to disrespect harsvore wrestling fans, everyone's entitled to their opinions, but this is the most entertaining portion of the match for. 

Remi: Nothing beats Conway Twitty. 

The match is relatively calm. Nice music sound out of the PA's, a portion of the Met Center even engaging in a singalong. Lacklan stands triumphantly in the centre of the ring, Vonn a little bit behind her, flexing. 

Travis looks the calmest of the bunch, but he's actually kind of worried. 

Drool pools out of William's gigantic mouth, a noticeable snoring can be heard from the Horrorhemoth's awkwardly placed body.

The sing begins reaching it's end and Travis watches as several Referee's make an attempt to pick William up, heading Lacklan's request, but still failing. The 4 referee's are clearly not enough, and realising this they make a beckoning motion to the backstage area. 

Clearwater: ...And each step you taaaaake bring you closer...

Remi: I think they need my help, the ref's are calling me- one second. 

As Remi, the Spanish commentators, medical staff and more crew begin to make a combined attempt to lift William into the ring, getting him closer but dropping him again. 

Travis turns 180 degrees perfectly (like, robotically perfect, inhuman.) and turns towards the ramp. Specifically toward the place Travis assumes the music is played from.

The word "☹︎♓︎♑︎♒︎⧫︎♌︎◆︎●︎♌︎" appears above his head and he walks off, leisurely pace. 

William's body is crudely dropped onto the apron and the 10 staff work at rolling his lard-filled body into the ring. It takes a good five minutes but eventually he's dead center, in front of Lacklan's face, eyebrows burrowing in a blending of anger and disgust. 

Jasmine Silk grabs William's hand one more time. 

The crowd chant enthusiastically as it drops for the first time. The music long since stopping. 

Sarah: That's one!! Fat lardass still hasn't moved!

The crowd chant again as his hand is lifted for a second time, they are very, very pleased at this. 

Sarah: That's two!!! He's dreaming of mountain dews now! Might wanna cancel your nets if any of you made a real stupid prediction about this result. 

The hand is lifted for a third time- 

When suddenly: 

rings out throughout the arena. 

William hand forcefully slams the mat, and the man lifts his saliva covered face, miraculously awake and angry. 

William: AYY, TURN THAT CRAP OFF!!!

Clearwater: NO!! FOR THE LOVE OF-!! WHY?!

The camera cuts to a blank Travis, messing with audio-related buttons and an audible yell of frustration can be heard. 

Sarah: You fat, pathetic piece of crap!!! You're beaten to crap, you're barely conscious, HOW IS THIS STILL GOING ON?! 

William crawls some more, slapping Lacklan's shoe pathetically. 

William: M- may- maybe-.. b- be.. less... 5 foot 2... fricking.... leprechaun....

William mumbles. Lacklan stares at him with a fury too potent to put into words and then begins beating him down with the microphone while Travis strolls back to the ring.

Clearwater: Sarah is fully caught by William, here. She went to the well once too often going for that Supergirl punch, and it has cost her.

Remi: Look at how red she's getting, bro!

Clearwater: That cut on her forehead, caused by the Very Big Chair about seven hours ago, has come and gone as far as blood flow is concerned, but now all of that pressure from the full nelson is causing it to drip again.

Remi: William is so much bigger than her that she looks like a tiny porcelain doll in his arms!

Clearwater: Jasmine, our second referee of the night, is checking on Lacklan. She's not yielding, but I don't think she can even see with the blood flowing into her eyes.

Remi: I think she's going to stop the match!

Clearwater: That full nelson is sunk in deep, Remi. And if Sarah isn't going to submit, if she would rather suffer a broken neck than give in, then it's the referee's job to call the match for her own safety.

Remi: She's doing it!

Clearwater: That look on the face of Jasmine says it all, Remi. She's calling the match and-

SUPERGIRL PUNCH!

The announcers grow silent, their jaws slack and open, as Jasmine Silk crumples to the ground, her body hitting the mat like a puppet who has had their strings cut. Standing behind her, holding a melting bag of ice, is Kenzi Grey. Her Supergirl punch, while not as accurate as Sarah's was just as powerful, and the knuckles connecting to the back of the referee's head were the end of her story for the night. William's eyes go wide as Travis' actions from earlier are repaid in full.

William: ANOTHER CHEATING MIDGET!

With a roar, he hoists Sarah up into the air, holding her in the full nelson's grip, before slamming her down onto the mat. The Behemoth roars again at Kenzi, his bulbous body rippling from the effort. Kenzi flips a handful of her thin microbraids back and smirks.

Kenzi: Bitch, you're dumb.

William charges at Kenzi, but the caramel starlet easily sidesteps his slow amble, allowing him to pass by her as if he were an iceberg in the Atlantic. As he passes by, she notices the hitch in his right knee, and takes advantage: She tosses the melting bag of ice in front of him, making him stumble without the strength in his let, which causes him to run face-first into the turnbuckle. Seeing him stunned, she runs towards him, slides down under the bottom rope to the outside, and grabs him by the ankles. A quick flip and the off-balance William falls to his back. Placing a food on the apron for leverage, she pulls and slams William's groan into the turnbuckle. While the crowd groans along with him, she moves quickly: She crosses his left leg over his right and entwines her own in his, falls to the ground, and locks in the Hollywood&Vine turnbuckle figure four.

BLAM!

Clearwater: Okay, this is going to be an expensive episode of Metal.

Remi: Because of all the pyro at the beginning?

Clearwater: No, because of the lawsuits. Here's ANOTHER member of our fanbase getting hurt.

Remi: Hey, I thought it was a bold strategy.

Clearwater: Nevertheless, as I look around at the carnage that is this Hardcore Match, I can't help but shake my head. People don't realize how expensive these announce tables are!

Back in the ring, Sarah glares at the Behemoth on the outside.

Sarah: Get back in here!

William: No!

Sarah: I SAID-

William: LALALA CAN'T HEAR YOU

Clearwater: Ladies and Gentlemen, I don't know if I had ever seen a seven foot monster cover his ears and shut his eyes before, but I have now.

Remi: Look how furious the champion is!

Back in the ring, Sarah is close to throwing a tantrum over not getting her way, but she is soothed by Kenzi. The far more hip half of the 5'2" Mafia retrieves the halfway melted bag of ice and places it on Sarah's shoulder. Relief floods the albino’s face and she presses it onto the deltoid, thankful for finally getting the requested ice from approximately 13 hours earlier.

Clearwater: Man, this is a long match.

Outside the ring, William continues to keep his eyes and ears covered while repeating his mantra of not being able to hear Sarah's command that he re-enter the ring. All around him, the officials who nearly killed themselves to get his unconscious carcass up off the floor and into ring earlier beseech him to get back in the ring, but to no avail.

Remi: Honestly, I think they just want to avoid any more potential lawsuits.

?: Please, Sir?

A tiny voice cuts through the noise of pleading staff and his own giant hands, and William opens his eyes. Standing across the guardrail is a tiny wisp of a child, perhaps no more than three or four years in age, with rosy cheeks and the sparkle of endless possibilities in her eye.

Little Girl: You are ever so my favorite wrestler. Please go back in there and show that mean lady what heroes do.

William shakes his head in confusion. Hero? He wasn't a hero. He was a villain! Of the Super variety! He didn't do kind things or make little girls smile or-

The pleading smile of the girl was maddening. Her shining eyes pierced him, went straight into his soul. He couldn't let her down.

He would be her hero.

With a nod, he turns and makes his way back into the ring.

Behind him, the child rolls her eyes, says "...sucker...", and pulls out her "Official Fang Gang Member" button and pins it on her shirt.

Sarah's eyes go wide as the lumbering giant fee fi fo fums his way towards her, his steps causing the ring to shake. She pushes Kenzi out of the way, her Beloved's dress shoes making her stumble, and lines herself up with the Behemoth. The swing of the supersized kendo stick arcs towards her slowly, and while she is able to easily turn her body so that it goes wide, the sound of it slamming into the ring mat is loud enough to give her pause. One shot of that and it would be lights out.

Sarah: Get out of here, Beloved!

Kenzi nods and begins to retreat, running past Vonn Richtor, who is finally shaking away the cobwebs.

Kenzi: Up and at 'em, Muscles for Brains!

Vonn rolls under the bottom rope and to the outside, leaving the swinging William and the dodging Sarah.

WHIFF!

Another dodge.

WHIFF!

Another dodge.

WH-SMACK!

The kendo stick clips Sarah's shoulder, the force of the impact driving her to her knees. A touch too slow and the injured arm takes another beating. William steps back, lines up his feet, and swings the kendo stick like a batter looking to send one over the fence. But the big man forgets to drive his elbow down into his body, thus doesn't have full control of the swing, and the stick goes wide, with Sarah able to scramble underneath it. The Blood Princess knows nothing about baseball...Maine doesn't have a pro team so she considers it pretty stupid...so she doesn't understand the mechanics of William's mistake, but she takes advantage of it, nonetheless. She pushes herself forward as she dives done, coming into a forward roll and springing back up to her feet. As she turns around, she sees that not only is she behind him, but he is still off balance from his ill-formed swing.

A snap kick to the back of his right knee makes him howl.

Another kick, higher to place her food against his hamstring, nearly makes him buckle.

A third kick from her massive legs, this time with her shin bone connecting with his calf, makes the leg crumble. He falls to one knee and Sarah shoots in: She takes him by the back of the head, pulls him backward so that she can underhook his arm, and drives him down with the Abyss Reverse DDT.

He doesn't budge.

Sarah's eyes show panic as the big man doesn't move. She tries to force him down again, but he has too much of a powerful base. Her eyes go wide as he begins to push himself back up, with her still holding on, until he's standing up on his feet, his right side wobbly, but now in control. He carries her over to a turnbuckle and the slams her into it, the force of the impact to her back driving the air from her lungs.

She can't stop him from twisting her legs around the turnbuckle.

She's in the Tree of Woe.

Clearwater: Welp, that had to hurt.

Remi: That's the kind of analysis that I'm supposed to do, bro. Don't steal my gig!

Clearwater: My apologies. Regardless, Sarah Lacklan is hanging in the Tree of Woe, not moving, and William has just brained himself after tripping on his own feet. I spoke earlier about Sarah making the mistake of going to the well too often with her Supergirl punch, but now William has done it, as well.

Remi: Not like there was a referee to make the count, anyway!

Clearwater: Speak of the devil, here comes Spanky.

Remi: Guess he's finally recovered from those handj-

Clearwater: Don't repeat that.

Remi: Hey, of Sarah said it, I'm sure it's true!

Clearwater: Spanky in the ring now. He's surveying the scene and he no doubt is nervous about the other two unconscious referee bodies in there with him. Now he's looking at the two downed competitors and...well...he doesn't look too sure of himself.

Remi: He can't count them both out. It's a hardcore match!

Clearwater: Indeed. He's going over to Sarah now and trying to get her unstuck from the Tree of Woe, a smart move. She's out and down on the mat, and William is starting to move. Sarah rolls out of the ring and to the floor outside...that looked like hurt...and William seems to have seen her escape.

Remi: He looks mad, bro.

Clearwater: He always does.

Remi: Well. Yeah. But even more now. She was the one that made HIM get in the ring, after all.

Clearwater: It's hard to see from our position at the Spanish Announce Table, but I think Sarah has crawled underneath the ring.

Remi: Stealing from William's playbook! Hide and Seek time!

Clearwater: The Behemoth doesn't seem happy about it. He's on his feet...had to use the ropes AND Spanky to get there because of that knee...but he's up and looking around.

Remi: I wonder what side she's going to come out on?

Clearwater: It's one of four.

Remi: I wonder if William can count that high?

Clearwater: ....maybe...

Remi: I see movement!

Clearwater: Indeed, ladies and gentlemen, the apron on our side has moved and...what the...

Remi: That's the Great Miko!

Clearwater: I don't understand it, but the Great Miko has crawled out from under the ring.

Remi: I wonder where Sarah is?

Clearwater: I don't know, but it looks like the mysterious Miko, the winner of the Eli Breezy's Lucha Bowl Battle Royal, has been in a fight recently. There's a cut on her forehead that's bleeding down onto her mask, and she's nursing her right shoulder.

Remi: Now she's in the ring! Maybe she wants a close-up look of the match?

Clearwater: Maybe. Now William is asking her if she's seen Sarah anywhere...Miko is shaking her head no...and William stomps away and keeps looking for Sarah. Miko is behind him...taps him on the shoulder...

Remi: What's she-

Clearwater: RED MIST! Miko just blinded William!

Remi: Why would she do THAT?!

Ladies and gentlemen, viewers, readers, scholars, we now present to you what you have been waiting for the entire 9 days, 3 hours, and 17 minutes this epic battle has lasted:



HOLY SHIT!

-The Great Miko blasts The Mysterious T-shirt Lucha Giant (MTLG, for short) with six rolling suplexes ending with a super brainbustah! Don’t ask how they ended up on the top rope

- MTLG flawlessly transitions through each of Malenko’s 1000 moves with a fluidity that makes Usher blush

- Miko performs nine...count ‘em NINE...dives to the outside in a row, with the crowd counting every Tope con Miko as she flips over the top rope

-Holy shit! MTLG just did 16 rolling piledrivers on Miko! And Miko no-sold ALL of them!

-Kenzi showed back up, and even though she thinks Miko is a dumb fatass, still helped her perform a Magik Killer on MTLG from the top rope!

-All 900+ pounds of MTLG just did a full double rotation standing shooting star onto Miko!

-The announcers don't know anyone's name and instead just bicker among themselves and try to put themselves over

-CANDAIAN DESTROYERS! THEY BOTH JUST DID CANDAIAN DESTROYERS ON THE APRON! THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING!

-The crowd goes APE SHIT as both combatants immediatley get up as if nothing happened! Back into the ring they go and now they are doing 27 superkicks...EACH! OH MY GOD! MTLG JUST SUPERKICKED HIMSELF!

-Dave Meltzer just gave this match 7 ½ stars as the Miko V-Triggers MTLG, both of the Silk referees, and half of the APW staff six times in seven seconds.

-Everyone is out on the mat as the crowd battles themselves for attention with “HOLY SHIT!” “THIS IS AWESOME” and “YOU’VE STILL GOT IT” chants.

-Jim Cornette swallowed his tongue in the process of Miko and MTLG play wrestlers, cosplay artists, and the APW an outlaw mudshow

-Miko and MTLG immediately pop up as if nothing happened.

-The lights go out

-They come back on and, somehow, Sarah Lacklan and William the Hororhemeth stand in opposite corners. Sarah’s face is covered in blood and one arm hangs loose. William's face is covered in red mist and all of his weight is on his left leg.

Last push, mang.

They charge at one another.

Sarah: KA...MI...NO...I..KAR...I

The word from Lacklan is broken up through bouts of painful anguish. She never "flew" in wrestling, particularly hated "that flippy shit" as much as she "hardcore" matches, but she understood the importance of adding momentum and angles, and this was such an instance. The <i>Kaminoikari</i> Penalty Knee Strike had won her matches when under the guise of "The Great Miko," her secret honoring of her late father's first wife, but the desperation against this monster necessitated such a need. And as powerful as the knee strike had been, connecting with William's temple and taking him to the ground, it had it's fair share of problems: She landed hard on her back, which itself had been victim to shots from the Very Big Chair and Kendo Stick, that particularly vicious slam on the outside early on, and more. The pain shooting through her entire body from the fall was enough to make her want to just lay there for eternity.

But she had a match to win.

Not for her. Not for herself. But for <i>them</i>.

"Get up, Sarah!"

"You can do it, Lacklan!"

<i>"Buraddo Purinsesu!"</i>

The world <i>needed</i> Sarah Lacklan to win this match. Ordained by the One Lord God to change the world through the examples set down by His favorite sport, Professional Wrestling, Sarah's job in life was to stand tall as the recognized Champion. World, Global, Unified, Universal. The name varied on how she would be seen, that small detail as full as flavor as many other differences in cultures, but the core concept remained: She was born and raised to be the Firestarter, the girl who would raze the world so that it could be built anew in an image of cleanliness for His glory. She couldn't just lay there with the excuse of a back screaming in pain. She couldn't just rest with the excuse of a lame arm or a gash on her forehead. She had a match to win, a title to defend, and a crowd to be the hero for.

She slowly got to her feet.

William was on his stomach and starting to push himself up. Their size difference was so great that, even at this vantage, his head was still nearly at her waist. The urge to strike with her knee was great, whether it be penalty or shining wizard, but she had used too many of those. Too predictable at this stage. She looks around and her eyes shine when she sees the Very Big Ladder and she remembers her idea from early. It takes all of her strength, but she drags the ladder over and wraps William's right leg through the steps. She climbs the rope for an unprecedented fourth time in one match. She stands tall, tossing back her bloody platinum braid, now a bright pink. Measures William. And then leaps off the top rope with a Senton Bomb, all 145 bounds of muscle down onto the ladder-entwined leg.

SLAP!

Sarah's palm against the Behemoth's stomach was a thick THUD![/i] in the Met Center.

SLAP!

William's slap in response rocked her and pushed her back.

THWACK!

A snap kick into William's leg makes the big man stumble.

BONK!

Receipt paid with a clubbing forward to her injured shoulder.

Clearwater: This has turned into a strike to strike battle in the middle of the ring, and I don't think that is a wise strategy for the champion. She's giving up a LOT of weght to her challenger.

Remi: William is like five of her, bro!

Back and forth the two strike, Sarah with strong kicks but weak palmstrikes due to her shoulder, William with glancing blows that his ruined vertical base can't pinpoint with any accuracy. Every kick from Sarah slows William down even further, and every connection of William's giant paw saps Sarah's strength. The crowd, shockingly alert for the closing moments of the World's Longest Match, cheer on their preferred combatant.

"Go Sarah Go!"

"Get her, Big Willy!"

"Buraddo Purinsesu!"

"SU-PER VILL-AINS!"

Sarah is too slow dodging an overhand fist and it catches her in the forehead, causing blood to splatter. William moves his left leg to intercept an incoming kick to the right and instead gets a shin in his groin. Sarah hits the ropes and comes back with a front kick to the gut. William falls back against the ropes and slowly springs back with a body block that drops Sarah.

Clearwater: Pinning predicament!

Remi: Spanky is there!

1!

In his daze, William's spiteful smile finds enough lucidity to come to his face.

2!

He feels the tiny midget body moving underneath him, trying to escape, but he knows this is finally over. He wi-

Pain

The pain of lightening

Like the taser from before

But shooting up his leg

William howls and tries to turn over. He gets as far as his side and sees what happened: Somehow, Sarah had maneuvered herself underneath him during the pin and gotten ahold of his leg. A twist or two layer and he was in a side leglock with her infamous thighs squeezing his knee joint like she was a vice.

Clearwater: What a reversal! This was all but over after that Thesz Press but now it's William on the verge of giving up!

Remi: His screams are so loud that he's drowning out the cheers of the audience!

William scrambles in an attempt to free himself of Sarah's grasp, including pulling himself towards the roles, on Spanky's striped shirt, on anything. Part of him knows that he could REALLY use a sharp stick but all he had was his hands.

His

Hands

A matchstick appears above his head

He balls up his fist

Aims for Sarah's midget body

And unleashes

unleashes

UNLEASHES

.
.
.
.
.
.
THE INSANE PUNCH
.
.
.
.
.
Sarah let's go

Before the blow connects

William Insane Punches his own leg

He howls like never before as Sarah locks in the side leglock again

Sarah can feel her eyes begin to bug out from her head, can feel her throat closing in, can feel her lungs needing to burst from the lack of air. But her spirit, the toukon retsuden embodied by both The Great Miko and the Buraddo Purinsesu, is strong within her, urging her to breathe, pressing her to continue. Her own hands clench harder with that urging, her fingers digging into the meaty flesh of her opponent’s throat, trying to give for everything which she has received. Her vision wants to fade, and she can see that William’s wants to as well, and she thinks of all the things which have transpired in the seemingly endless match.

Her amazing promotional stylings to properly introduce the match and it’s participants

A Mark of Cain Shining Wizard off the Very Big Halberd

Guest commentary at the announce booth before it was destroyed

Making dum dum William taze himself. Twice.

Sneak peeks into the collected works of the what will someday be known as the Zaigonists Movement

Confusing William with complex multiplication

Her banshee’s keen into the megaphone to freeze everyone in the Met Centre (including a cameo of her invented sign language!)

KILLER imagery

Improvisational weapon usage with the items in the environment

Run-ins and tandem offense by both her 5’2” Mafia AND Booty and the Beast partners

Consistent strategy to focus on chopping down the giant’s legs to ruin his vertical base and force a tapout at the end

Survived the most extreme and powerful “ladder airplane spin” execution in the history of the business

The willingness to admit to being wrong...because her opponent had actually won LESS matches than she originally stated

Video game style attack options selection

A TON of shots to the groin of Travis, and a couple to William, because shots to the nards are funny

The Pigeon Flaps it’s Wing

Giggles loves you!

Deep dives into relationships with trainers and peers and how that helps her dig deep into her moveset and strategies to adjust on the fly

“Garbage Match” shaming APW and it’s fans

Conway. Goddamn. Twitty.

Plenty of Supergirl punches

Kenzi's SWEET booty

Official members of her “Fang Gang” fanclub tricking dum dum William to get back into the ring so that she can pin him

Back-and-forth action full of counters and countered counters

Breezy no doubt popping in the back like CRAZY when the Great Miko mysteriously come out from under the ring to mist the confused William

Reversing a pinfall attempt into a submission

Making William “Insane Punch” his own leg, like, ten times

And

AND

The Modern Wrestling Portion of the Match

Sarah’s breath nearly leaves her as her mind goes over all of those insane moments. And that was only about 60% of them in this marathon match of craziness!

The two are locked in the double choke hold, champion and challenger

She does what only an honorable defending champion would do in such a situation.

She stomps on William’s foot.