Alone

South Dakota- Day 1
11:53 PM

"I never saw myself doing something like this before. Don't get me wrong. I love the show. I have seen every episode of Alone. I just never saw myself feeling compelled to try to survive in the wilderness by myself. I'm more of a hotel room with room service and a king-size bed kinda guy. But recent events have forced me out here. So now Eli Beazley is on Alone. So now I just have to figure out how to survive out here.”

Eli has been holding the camera way to close to his face. He pulls the camera back and we see that Eli is surrounded by wilderness. Tall pine trees flank him on all sides. Birds and other wildlife can be heard. Eli spins the camera around and we see that it is truly Eli alone in the woods.

“Breeziacs usually this show is about being the last person standing. They drop 10 people in the wilderness and the last one left wins a buttload of money. That’s not the case. There is no money on the line. I’m out here alone. I’m not out here trying to outlast 9 other people. I’m only out here to outlast He Who Must Not Be Named AKA the new APW Champion. So I’m going to build myself a shelter. I’m going to catch wild animals. I’m going to live out here because I can’t bear to see APW soiled with HIM as it’s champion. So now I just have to figure out how to live off the land. He can’t be champion for that long, right?”

Eli shakes his head looking truly disappointed. We switch to a different view of Eli. He sets down the camera and then starts to walk around. We watch as he gathers some branches off the ground. He begins leaning the branches against a tree creating a lean-to shelter.



Eli excitedly turns back to the camera obviously stoked about his less than impressive shelter.

“LOOK!!! Shelter!”

Eli climbs in the shelter as the screen fades to black.

South Dakota- Day 1
12:14 PM

“The hunger is really becoming a problem.”

Eli sits alone in his shelter with dirt smeared across his face. It’s been all of 20 minutes and Eli looks as if he has been out here for days. He pulls the camera in for a tight shot of his face.

“Eli Edward Beazley, you should have eaten before we left the house,” Eli says in a high pitched voice, clearly imitating a woman. Back to his normal voice. “But I wasn’t hungry THEN, mom! Gosh!”

A pause as Eli starts rummaging around in the backpack at his side.

“I guess I have to catch my own food. Breeziacs, I used to go fishing with my dad. I was pretty good. Unfortunately, I hit up the Walmart on the way out here and they only had one fishing pole left in stock. This is it.”

Eli pulls out a two-foot-long, bright pink Barbie fishing pole. Eli shrugs his shoulders.

“Now I just have to find a good fishing hole. I’ll catch back up with you when I find one. Breezy out!”

South Dakota- Day 1
12:27 PM

“Well, I have some bad news. There isn’t a fishing hole anywhere in sight. I found the creek but… well have a look for yourself.”

Eli spins the camera around and we see a trickle of water running across the ground. It couldn’t be more than an inch or two wide.

“So that changes things. But, Breeziacs, we will improvise. I always talk about being ready for everything and this is no different. Maybe I can make a lasso out of the fishing line and use it to lasso me a squirrel or a coyote. I’ll figure it out. Next time you see me I will have food.”

Fade to black.

South Dakota - Day 1
1:43 PM

“Breeziacs!!!! I have food!”

The screen comes to life with a shot of Eli. He raises his arm up and reveals not a coyote or a squirrel but a slice of pizza. He brings up his other arm to reveal a Pizza Hut box.

“I know, I am cheating. But the city is like five minutes away and after hours and hours of hunting, I didn’t see anything I could eat. Thankfully, Pizza Hut delivers out here! I figured that Breezy Nation needs Breezy alive and well. If I die out here from starvation who is going to lead the Breeziacs? Let’s eat!”

We get a time-lapse of Eli eating several pieces of pizza. Eli finishes his last piece and then the camera goes back to normal.

“Breeziacs, it’s been a great day so far. I’ve got food in my belly and a shelter built. I’m well on my way to outlasting He Who Must Not Be Named.”

Eli stops and looks up at the sky.

“It’s getting late. Nightfall we be here soon. I say we hunker down for the night.”

We get another timelapse of Eli. This time we see him make his way to his shelter. He tried to get inside of it, but ended up knocking the whole thing down. We see him put the shelter back up. Eli gets inside the shelter and several seconds pass with no movement and then the shelter falls down on its own. We see Eli’s legs sticking out from under the pike of sticks. The last shot of the time-lapse is a shot of Eli building the shelter again and once again climbs inside.

South Dakota - Day 1
2:29 PM

The scene opens up with a shot of Eli holding up the empty box of pizza but this time it has a face drawn on it. Like this:


“Breeziacs, I’d like to introduce you to my new best friend. His name is Dom. Dom, is there anything you would like to say to Breezy Nation?”

Eli changes his voice to make it a little deeper and to include some accent that is unrecognizable. Maybe his attempt at a Brooklyn accent.

“Yo, Breezy Nation, Dom here. I love all of you. Breezy Nation is beautiful, bay bay!”

Eli now. “They are beautiful, Dom! Hey, don’t you have some questions you wanted to ask me?”

“Yeah, I’ve got some questions. Question #1, who’s your best friend?”

Eli laughs and with his free hand points to Dom.

“You are, Dom! You are!”

“Good! Question two. Big match coming up this week. You’re teaming up with L Verez. Any thoughts on L?”

Eli nods his head.

“I’ve talked about it in the past. I’m not a huge fan of tag matches. I have been stuck with some real duds as tag team partners. Mainly one dud. One massive dud who somehow is now our world champ… But I degrees. L Verez is probably the best partner that I have had in APW. She took down Zombie McMorris to become Hardcore Champion. She beat up Soul Reaver. She lost last week but it was a great match. She and I aren’t close by any means, but I like knowing that she is going to be my partner. She’s got my back and I’ve got hers. We should be a great team! I just hope that she lets me use some of those fancy weapons on her suit. I’ve always wanted to light something on fire with a laser beam!

Dom the pizza box nods his head.

“And your thoughts on your opponents, The Storm?”

“The Storm? Hmmm.”

Eli stares off into the vast wilderness for several seconds before answering.

“You know, Dom, I’m not going to lie. Going up against a team like The Storm is a little intimidating. They’re buddies. They’ve teamed up countless times. I saw their debut, they are a well-oiled machine. And it is hard for a team like L Verez and Eli Beazley to step in the ring and have that same chemistry. L and I are both great wrestlers. It’s just my opinion, but I think L and I are the better singles wrestlers.”

Dom interjects.

“That’s not just your opinion. That is widely accepted as fact.”

“Well thanks, Dom! I think the numbers speak for themselves. L and I both have gold belts around our waists. L may be a relatively new champ, but beating Zombie is no easy task. And as we know, I’m THE longest reigning Jr. Heavyweight Champion. If it’s Eli vs America or L vs Zaigon. I think we get the clean sweep. America and Zaigon are both great wrestlers. There is no doubt about that, but Eli Beazley is the cream of the crop. 111 days as champ, baby! And L Verez is pretty damn good herself. BUT this isn’t a singles match. And that is where the danger lies. We’ve got to figure out this teamwork thing and meanwhile, America and Zaigon have been perfecting it.”

“In my mind this match is going to come down to two things! The first of which I think we can answer right here and now. Will Breezy Nation temporarily adopt L Verez as part of the fam? Will the Breeziacs get behind L as if she were an extension of The Breezy One? Dom, I know my fans. The Breezy Nation is one of acceptance. It’s one of love. I have no doubt that they will embrace L Verez and the support of the Nation will give us an advantage. The second factor is a little more unknown, but the most important one. Can L and I overcome some miscommunications or missteps in the ring. It’s going to happen. It’s going to take a little time to ‘figure it out’. Can we overcome that fast enough to stay in the match and beat a great team like Zaigon Carter and America Jackson? I think we can. I hope we can. But come Tuesday morning we will know for sure.”

Another long pause from Eli.

“All I know is that this is the first night under the dark cloud of a Jason Ryan reign as champ. The fans need a win for the good guys. Breezy Nation needs to be reminded that there is good left in the world. They need to see their leader step up and keep fighting the good fight. They need me, Dom. They need me to beat America and Zaigon. So what am I doing out here?”

Eli drops Dom the Pizza Box and stands up.

“Running is never the option. As gross as Jason Ryan being champ makes us feel, it isn’t the end of the world. There is no point feeling sorry for ourselves. The only way to make APW great again is to keep fighting. Listen up, Breezy Nation, America Jackson, Zaigon Carter, L Verez, Jason Ryan, Harrison Ford, Trump, and anybody that needs to hear this. I’ve been kicking ass since I got here. I have built something special from the ground up and we will continue to build on that on Monday night. I don’t need to be out here in the wilderness. I need to be with my brothers and sisters in APW. I need to be fighting for this company that I love so much. And that’s where I will be on Monday night. Fighting.”

“Come on, Dom.”

Eli picks up his new friend and then walks about 10 feet away to his rental car. He drives away as the screen fades to black.